What Inspires Awe?
In my writer’s group of fellow Wayfinder Coaches we were given the following prompt by a fellow coach: PROMPT: What brings you a sense of awe in your life and environment? What Inspires Awe? Volcanoes inspire awe Unless they are on a post card, then they’re awful. Babies being born inspire awe Unless they’re on tv sitcoms, they they’re awful Lightening strikes are awesome Unless they’re in a blog photo, then they’re awful Weddings inspire awe, Wait, who am I kidding, no they don’t. They’re just kind of boring and lead to snoring Or lots of drinking and overthinking Funerals don’t inspire awe but dead bodies seem to. Birds flying in formation are awesome Planes flying in formation are awesome The pyramid rock formations are awesomer still But what is most awesome of all is brave people breaking formation Dropping the etiquette like they’re all wasps from Connecticut And forgetting their manners and burning their day planners Violence inspires awe And in this noisy world so does silence Fear and tragedy inspire awe And punch you right in the jaw But there is one most obvious truth, so plain it seems almost mundane But it is truly true every second if our awareness can remain… The truth is the fact that life itself is alive. A field of experience thinking, and reasoning, and aligning on purpose for our highest good. Until we get in the way and short circuit this awesome process of living in the present moment. Life conspires, deliberately, to bring us fulfillment. It seems awesome to me, absolutely awesome that life is this responsive, this benevolent, this persistent and consistent and insistent. And yet, we find it all so easy to forget, to disbelieve, to write off as fairy tales and adventure stories. How awesome to be living in the middle of our very own adventure story, with life as our ally, our faithful sidekick, our trusty steed, or consigliere, our beloved, and being blind to it the entire time….that is so incalculably hard to understand that I find it simply inspires a sense of awe.
Existing Infinitely (Verbing Adverbally: The ‘Core Values’ Coaching Tool In Action)
In Martha Beck’s new book The Way Of Integrity she talks about using a verb + adverb phrase to discover your core values. For example it might be living (the verb) and courageously (the adverb), or loving fully, or chewing quietly (that’s one I’m still trying to master). In a writer’s group I belong to that is populated by fellow Wayfinder Coaches one of them suggested we use the model of a verb + adverb phrase to do a writing prompt to help us uncover our core values as a coach and a human being. You can check out what I came up with below in the 12 minutes we get to write in that group! That twelve minutes flies by faster than a Sessna crashing into the sea. Try combining a verb adverb phrase that represents a core value for you, and write about it. Then let me know in the comments how it went. Much Love Life Story Hackers. Existing Infinitely The culturally acceptable: Living Selflessly Caring Feverishly Obeying Politely Disagreeing Cautiously with out raising your voice The culturally encouraged: Proving Endlessly Achieving Relentlessly Boasting Subtly Giving Mindlessly to the non-profit of your choice From a broken place: Frittering Aimlessly Struggling Constantly Ruminating Involuntarily People Pleasing Perpetually while making very little noise From a place of privilege: Spending Carelessly Eating Mindlessly Commenting Blindly Learning Slowly and having it all explained twice From a place of victimhood: Suffering Silently Blaming Utterly Deteriorating Steadily Dying Regretfully, without every rolling the dice My deepest truth: Enjoying Wholeheartedly Luxuriating Ferociously Relaxing Deliberately Entertaining Consciously, because wouldn’t that be nice? My improbable dream:Influencing Humbly Prospering Completely Mastering Peacefully Teaching and Serving and eating pizza by the slice
WRITING PROMPT: “Something Small that Leads to Positive Change”
Something small that lead to positive change is every single baby who ever did something worthwhile in their lives… Like, I don’t know, learning to walk, or laughing with joy Or holding their head up and keeping their food down. Something small that lead to positive change is every molecule that ever mattered or became matter Like the building blocks of life, nearly invisible, mostly empty space, And yet somehow they create everything, they are everything Something small that lead to positive change is every single lone voice that spoke up about something just because they knew they had to Like Rosa Parks, creating sparks Or Martin L. King with his big big dream Or that single girl that stood her ground and stopped a tank in its tracks Something small that lead to positive change is every single breath I take Because they never fail me, they just exhale me And with the grace of air, living surrounded by exactly what I need to survive I actually can thrive Something small that lead to positive change is every spider that ate a mosquito carrying malaria Or every hand that rubbed the back of somebody with hysteria Every calming word, especially those teeny tiny one syllable words Like, I don’t know, love, joy, peace, fuck, try, yes, no, hi, be, and give. Or every single small tear ever cried, or every time I little white lied when I thought I was embodying love even if it was a mistake Because my small mistakes create the ocean waves that somehow, miraculously, graciously, unconditionally, can end up smoothing the rough edges of somebody else’s suffering, Like sea glass made from a drunk man’s trash. Something small that lead to positive change is the minute before this one, and the second that comes after, because Every second I use to put my fulfillment first is a teeny tiny moment I can let my heart burst And shed of all of culture’s restrictions And drop all of my dogma and benedictions And I find myself waiting there in every minuscule moment The small things add up to big things and I don’t know how it happens Or why it happens But I know it’s orchestrated by a pervading conscious benevolent love that is made of oxygen and time and everything we see in this huge expansive wide world And that knowing, that revelation, for me, is truly no small thing at all.
WRITING PROMPT: “If I Knew It Would Turn Out Right I Would…”
If I knew it would turn our right I would tell more people about my Hollywood dreams. I would not second guess the value of making fictional TV stories. I would have more fun in the pursuit of the things I long to do more of. I might do community theatre. I’d spend more time querying book agents But really how would I spend my time if I knew it would turn out right? I’d write more stories. I’d write more screenplays and send them to more contests. I’d paint more often, just because I like to. And I think I’d practice the piano because I knew it would amount to something.I’d quit my job that has me administering other peoples plans And I’d rest in the foregone success of my own plans. I’d focus my attention into the thing I’m doing right now, because all the larger things, the dreams, the embarrassing, whimsical, almost childish dreams would take care of themselves. If I knew it would turn out right I’d surrender fully to life’s flow I’d drop preconceived notions and the search for magic potions And I’d take it all in, in slow motion, just rocked in the ocean of raw experience. Life would be taking care of me, supporting me. Requiring of me nothing but surrender. Nothing but the relaxed state of existence that all the other species enjoy until the few scattered moments when they are actually under attack, if ever at all. I’m not under any attacks, but there seems a capital crime in trying to relax How dare I take a deep breath When the world is blanketed in crisis and death But when I don’t breathe I’m really making an excuse Because I don’t know how to put my existence to good use So I sink in to the overwhelm, the quicksand of information A kind of starvation from any real truth as I gobble up the main stream media messages that feel like bandages keeping my free thinker all locked up tight under propaganda, stupidly distracted while watching a waving panda Scrolling is the new pocket watch and we’ve all been hypnotized. I guess if I knew it would turn out right I’d find a way to unplug every man, woman and child from the cultural propaganda machine that washes our minds but somehow makes us dirtier. I’d find a way to inoculate us from hook line and sinker I’d enshrine again the value of being a free thinker Or a mind in love with fun, and ideas with witch to tinker But since I’m not sure how it will all turn out, I guess I’ll stick to doing what I love. I’ll tell stories and make movies and allow people a place to escape from their struggle if only for a moment. I have to remember as I tell my stories That people can be hypnotized not only as a way to be controlled, but as a way to heal, as a way to liberate. It is that talisman I hope to wave over people’s willing eyes, softening minds and lingering addictions. But for now I’ll have to settle for poking fun at all the nightly news doomsday predictions. Because that’s good entertainment.
My Lack of Faith in Myself is Like Superhero Movies (The Metaphor Coaching Tool in Action)
I am currently finishing up my Wayfinder Life Coach training with Harvard trained sociologist and best selling author Martha Beck. One of the tools we learn to use is the metaphor tool. Using this tool we take something painful in our life (i.e. loneliness) and compare it to one of our favorite things (i.e. bowling). The idea is to re-wire your synapses in a way your brain never would do on its own. Can you think of any ways in which loneliness is like bowling? The essay below is my exploration into how my lack of faith in myself can be compared to super hero movies. Lack of faith being the pain point, and super hero movies being one of my absolute favorite things. Read the metaphorical essay and then take a stab at comparing something painful in your life to one of your favorite things. Don’t think too much, just write; and discover what hidden insights and wisdom are waiting for you on the other side of your metaphorical adventure. MY LEAST FAVORITE THING IS LIKE MY MOST FAVORITE THING: My lack of faith in myself is exhausting. Captain America was exhausted when fighting bad guys. My lack of faith is like the bad guy in super hero movies. So I’m the hero? That can’t be right. Well what am I then? I am the courage to be me. The courage to be me is like super hero movies because super heroes save the world and if I could just have the courage to be me I’d save myself. Being myself is hard, I grew up living the life of a double agent but I didn’t wait until after college to study spy craft. I went through LGBTQuantico when I was barely hitting puberty. Learning to exchange furtive glances and pretend girls were pretty. And have crushes that were a cover story for my secret identity. You know, like super hero movies. I was Superman. The entire world was Lois Lane. And I was in love with it. But it kept snooping and I was afraid it would be in danger if it found out my secret identity. Being gay was dangerous. Very dangerous for everyone involved. My lack of faith in myself is like superhero movies because it just keeps on going. It never gives up. It just continues to make me doubt myself, immobile, inept and indestructible. Like super heroes. It’s also like super hero movies because it spawns endless sequels. I’ve lost faith in myself II and I’ve lost faith in myself: The Origin Story. And The You’ll Never Amount To Anything franchise that spawns its own trilogy. Frozen in Fear. My lack of faith in myself is like superhero movies because it’s fun. It’s fun to watch myself tire of self doubt. To watch myself notice my thought storms and toxic forms of behavior, and my searching for a savior My lack of faith is like super hero movies because I get fully absorbed in it, lost in it. I have no sense of time going by but at the same time a dull anxiety about the movie’s run time ticking away back down to mundane everyday moment to moment living. My lack of faith in myself is like super hero movies because every time I do something hard, or something I never thought I could do, I’m reliving act three, battling it out to an epic crescendo and then, against all odds, something good comes my way. A victory. Or an opportunity. Or an even bigger threat. You know, like super hero movies. Super hero movies can let me down, just like my lack of faith. Sometimes the stories don’t ring true. Like the one I tell about my lack of faith in myself. Or that first long boring Hulk movie. Or Arnold Schwartzennager as Mr. Freeze. That definitely breaks trust. I know I deserve my trust, my own support, but like super hero movies sometimes I shy away from the gripping story of truth for the saccharine story of triumph. And it doesn’t always ring true. Like X-Men III: The Last Stand, which disappointed me as much as my own lack of faith in myself. Super hero movie are just copies of remakes of older stories from other places like comic books. Like my lack of faith in myself, passed down by my traumatized family to a traumatized little boy, I am just a remake, a reboot of a previous generation. I’m just hoping the writer’s go somewhere unexpected this time. A remake, but with a twist. My lack of faith is like super hero movies because it is a fantasy. It’s one that I watch constantly and it brings me a sort of perverse comfort. The time wasting of a super hero movie is replaced by the paralyzation of my lack of faith in myself. Trading wasting time for wasting potential. You know, like the villains in super hero movies. There is always something that’s hard to believe in super hero movies, just like it is hard to believe in myself. What do I deserve? Well, one hell of act three, you can bet your ass on that.
There Is Just No Comparison (A New Way Of Using the Power of Metaphor)
In my coaching practice I use the power of metaphor with my clients to help them unlock creativity by bringing together unusal ideas in unexpected ways. As taught in her coach training program by my mentor and sociologist Martha Beck, you can compare a pain point, or area of suffering in your life to anything that’s near you or dear to you. Don’t over think it. Just pick a sore spot and a random object and let your synapses fire and your brain re-wire. For an example of this check out my recent post My Lack of Faith In Myself is Like Superhero Movies. Below is a poem inspired by the idea of comparison and extended metaphor as a way to explore our interior worlds. There Is Just No Comparison My relationship to myself is like a metaphor Nothing has any meaning by itself Only one aspect in relationship to another A constant internal comparison My childhood weighed against the now moment Or against your childhood Or against a childhood from the TV My choices weighed against my innocent dreams Or against your choices Or against the choices they make on the TV My identity weighed against my actual impact My ego, slams like a meteor into my intentions and the resulting cataclysm is the end of all life on this planet. The planet is not earth but my old belief structures, as the impact causes ruptures Blinded by my possible futures, I end up needing sutures Distracted by all the features, forgetting we are natural creatures When I look in the mirror of reality is it like I’m staring back at myself, or am I there, staring back at myself? I extend this metaphor, like a thief extends his fortunes at a jewelry store, Stealing images to compare and contrast, like a meaning blast So that maybe you’ll ignore, if it turns out my life is a mixed metaphor? And not as glamorous as I what I thought before When I drop all metaphors And the making of meaning softens into the bliss of experiencing And life starts living me, dispelling my notions that I am ever living it And all becomes one There is suddenly nothing to compare anything to I am everything This resurgence of emergence with no urgency inside of me And the metaphor becomes, well, it’s like, it’s like, it is so, well…it is just…
WRITING PROMPT: “The Least Favorite Part of My Living Space”
On the tomb of Hermes reads the inscription “As above so below, as within so without.” The esoteric meaning behind this is that our outer worlds and experiences are a direct reflection of our inner worlds and experiences. So one tool we use in life coaching is called “The Living Space Tool” where I will guide clients to identify either their most or least favorite part of their living space and write a description. When we begin to explore these exercises it is almost magical, and always mind boggling, just how much these descriptions of the outer environment do reflect the interior world of the client. This reflective nature of our reality, when channeled in coaching or writing like this, can yield major insights and revelations in our lives. In my coach-infested writer group we often do prompts that ignite self exploration because we all happen to be addicted to that. This poem came as a result of a prompt inspired by the Living Space Tool that one of the coaches suggested in our group. Enjoy! My Living Space: My least favorite aspect of my living space is the darkness. My basement cave is windowless And so my soul sometimes penniless I need the light to be more than slight I get just a little bit through a tiny slit My skin craves vitamin D and my eyes want more to see Sometimes it’s cozy with a thriller at night But the shadows can be crushing, a relentless might I don’t mind the darkness I just want options Like opening the drapes to find a golden ray But the cinderblock dungeon never softens So I live in the twilight, just barely lit, and thoroughly grey
Embodying My Dream Self (The Dream Analysis Coaching Tool In Action)
In my coaching practice I have sometimes used the Dream Analysis Tool taught by Martha Beck in her Wayfinder Coach Training program and as outlined in her book Finding Your Own North Star. The way it works is you write down your dream. Then you write down the dream and either on your own or with a coach you make a list of the most potent symbols you can remember. Anything that appears in your dream is a symbol. From the color red, to the feeling of cold, to the spider on the Taj Mahal. It all counts. Your intuition is key here. Once you have your list of symbols you either do this next bit in writing or with a coach. You embody the symbol by repeating a phrase and then describe “yourself” using three adjectives and then ask the symbol a few questions. Let’s say in this case the symbol is a golden retriever. You start with “I am the golden retriever and I am…” and then you list or say the first three adjectives that come to your mind. Then you ask the symbol “What is you purpose?”, “Do you have a message for ‘Client’s Name?” and any other questions that naturally come up for you. Do these one at a time, and feel deep inside you for the answers. Don’t think about them, and don’t take too long, feel for them, and then move on. On the other side of this exercise clients tend to have massive revelations about things currently pressing down on their lives. Try it and tell me what happens for you. Below is a poem inspired by the Dream Analysis Coaching Tool. HOW DO YOU EMBODY A DREAM? How do you embody an object from a dream you can’t remember? Do you call to the wind? Twist on the vine? Take a warm bath and drink too much wine? I want to embody these rapidly fading parts of myself To learn deeper meanings To shine a light on my leanings But I sit up and they take off Like a get away car, so quickly so far So I embrace the symbols that go up in whisps as my symbol I embody “forget” And let’s see what we get I am Brian’s forgetfulness and I am… Protective Misunderstood There was a third one, but I forget. What is my purpose? I am here to give Brian room to breathe Where he might normally seethe I hold the front line, keep open some space So all the old trauma ain’t so “in your face” I’ve served my purpose, but I’m about all used up So prepare to remember, and reopen the case What is my message? You have only so much bandwidth to concentrate So don’t over saturate Or your fears will exaggerate and exasorbate Savor each moment, its the only thing real By forgetting the rest, your path will reveal Where you are headed, through you needn’t know The mystery supports you, so now, off you go.
